Tuesday, 5 December 2023

Emotional exhaustion | Day 2 | Feeling lonely in your relationship? Self care is not selfishness ... Tuesday 05-12-2023

 


Shekina Greetings Word Of Life. Welcome to the Morning Altar Of Prayer. Lift your voice where you are and tell God Lord I'm coming before you today. I want to receive a word from you.

We are thankful for the gift of life. It is not that we are better than others. It is just that your grace has been so great to us that we are coming to give you thanks and praise.

We worship you oh God. We adore you for your wisdom that you pour on us today. Receive our thanks, receive our praise in the name of Jesus the Christ the Son of the Living God. We all say amen and amen.

We are still meditating together with you relationships and emotional exhaustion.

We want to provide to you the wisdom from above on how to handle it. How to go about it.

RELATIONSHIP IS ORDAINED BY GOD FOR OUR ENJOYMENT

God has set a relationship in a place for us to enjoy. In First Timothy 617, the Bible says that God gives us all things to enjoy.

It is your right. It is my right to enjoy my relationship with my wife, with my husband, with my friends. It is the right for us to enjoy it because God ordained it to be a place of enjoyment.

The Bible says iron sharpens iron. Relationship is ordained to sharpen me and for us to sharpen one another. That is the beauty of a relationship. It is God who wanted it that way.

It is more blessed as it is written in the book of Act to give than to receive. Relationship is a place where there is that enjoyment of giving and receiving happiness.

But the question I'm asking myself is where stress in relationship is coming from? Why is it that what God has ordained for our enjoyment is not bringing enjoyment at all? What is the problem? Why is it that way?

There are many reasons why a relationship ordained by God for our enjoyment is becoming a place of hell for men to the extent that somebody can become so worn out because the relationship is causing a lot of stress, the husband is a source of stress, the wife is a source of stress.

I went into a house. I just stepped in that house. I could not stay there for 5 minutes. God is my witness. You can feel oppression in that place. You can feel even the atmosphere in that place is just something else. Obviously, that house is a house of fighting. It's a house of battles. It's a house where people throw words to one another. It affects the environment. It affects the place. The place becomes stuffy. The place becomes heavy. Why? Because there is tension in the air. That is not the will of God for us.

We are still learning together with you where the emotional dryness and exhaustion is coming from. Yesterday we saw some. Today, I want to some more. And I believe at each step we will get some lessons and it will help us understand what is going on.

REASONS BEHIND EMOTIONAL EXHAUSTION IN RELATIONSHIPS

REASON NUMBER ONE | I can't handle the emotional turmoil of this relationship any longer.

In First King Chapter Nineteen, there is a story of Elijah, the man of God who went into a cave because he was so worn out. He was so discouraged.

Maybe somebody is there. You are in that place where Elijah was.

In First Kings nineteen verse four, the Bible says that Elijah himself went a day's journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a juniper tree and he requested for himself that he might die and said, “It is enough now oh Lord take away my life for I am not better than my fathers”.

 

A RELATIONSHIP WITH A NARCISSIST IS EXHAUSTING

It is enough. You see where exhaustion is coming from? He couldn’t handle the emotional turmoil. That is the meaning of what Elijah is saying.

But where the emotional turmoil is coming from? The emotional turmoil was coming from this woman called Jezebel.

There are partners in houses, husbands, wives who have the Jezebel spirits.

Jezebel is a narcissist at another level. Most of the emotional turmoil, most of the emotional exhaustion that we experience in our lives come from being in relationship with narcissists. I cannot say that enough.

Narcissists want to control. Narcissists want to manipulate. Narcissists can lie. It is a very difficult place to be with a narcissist who is a liar. Narcissists like threatening.

God has never ordained anyone to control anyone else. And I want you to know control is witchcraft.

It is exhausting to be in a relationship with somebody who wants to control your life, your thoughts, your movements and everything you do.

It is exhausting to be in a relationship with someone who enjoys manipulating you. Manipulating others can never bring you peace.

GOD CARES FOR YOUR BODY AS WELL AS HE CARES FOR YOUR SPIRIT AND YOUR SOUL.

In verse two, Jezebel sent a messenger unto Elijah saying, “So let the gods do to me and more also if I make not thy life as the life of one of them by tomorrow about this time”.

And when Elijah saw that in verse three, he arose and went for his life and he came to Bathsheba which belongeth to Judah and left his servant there.

That's why it is hard to handle the emotional turmoil of a relationship with a narcissist. When you are in such relationship, you are always living in fear. You are always on the fight flight mode. Always running away. Always Anxious.  That is why Elijah went in the cave.

Hear me and hear me very well. God is concerned about your relationship. God is not indifferent with your relationship.

When Elijah went to the juniper tree, the Bible says that an angel came and said unto him, arise and eat.

You know? I like and I am in awe of the love of my God.

When facing emotional exhaustion, God did not come first of all  to give Elijah a lot of scriptures. No. he gave him bread and meat.

When you are facing emotional exhaustion, you need to take care of your body as well. You need to take time to relax. You need to take time to rest. It is important for you to take care of your body.

Because here Elijah was in turmoil and was exhausted emotionally, the bible says that “God sent an angel for him to eat”.

LEARN TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. IT IS NOT SELFISH

You need to find some time. You can take a leave even from your job. You can just spoil yourself. Allow me to say so. You can go in a place where you are just quiet. Listening to a nice music. Very far away from any kind of noise. For your body is a servant of your soul. If your soul is not okay, it will affect your body. Take care of yourself. You can find time to sleep. Switch off your phone.

You know? I want you to know, friends, that God cares for your body.

People think that God does not care for our body. No he does. He cares for your body.

When the angel came to Elijah, he told him, “Arise and eat…”

In Verse six, he looked and behold there was a cake baked on the coals and a cruise of water at his head. Elijah did eat and drink and laid him down again.

You see? It is important for you to not torture your body. You need it. Don’t torture your body. You need it. Treat your body well and your body will treat you well. That is very important.

You see what God did to a man who was emotionally exhausted? He gave him food.

THE JOURNEY IS TOO GREAT FOR THEE

In verse seven, the angel came again the second time and said to Elijah, “Arise and eat because the journey is too great for thee”.

Maybe somebody you are there. You are facing emotional exhaustion. I want you to know that the journey is long.

Don't allow the relationship in which you are to stop your journey. The journey is too great for you. You have many days to live.

Here are we see Elijah contemplating suicide because of Jezebel who can be that controlling husband. That controlling wife. That controlling boss. That controlling father. That controlling pastor. Those controlling believers in Church who want to control their pastor throughout. That pastor who wants to control the members.

I will tell you the truth. The Word Of Life is not a place of control. Nobody will control you. Whether you come to Church or you don’t come. Whether you give or you don’t give. It doesn't matter.

God never forces his will on people.

Don't ever start controlling your spouse. That is the Jezebel spirit.

God never forces his will on people. God never forces people to give. God never forces people to do anything. He always says, “I stand at the door and I knock… If you open, I enter. If you don’t, I stay outside”

Friends, God never forces his ways on people.

That is where most of relationship turmoil and exhaustion are coming from. If you are in a relationship where there is so much control, where are you going? What have you done? I have to check your phone. Who are you talking to? Who will you talk to? Ah. That is something else.

CONTROL AND ACCOUNTABILITY

There is a difference between control and accountability. There must be accountability in a relationship.

When you are out, you are not in the house and you have left your spouse, it is commendable to inform him/her where you are.

Accountability and honesty and truth are what makes a relationship to be bearable.

Where there is no accountability, that is where somebody can say, “I can't handle the emotional turmoil of this relationship any longer”. This person is tired.

In a healthy relationship, there should not be control but there should be accountability toward one another.

Somebody is there, I encourage you to eat.

In Verse Eight, Elijah arose and did eat and drink and went in the strength of that meat 40 days and 40 nights.

You see? He got strength after eating. Sometimes, the strength we need is not a spiritual strength. Sometimes, the strength we need is a physical strength.

That is why I say it again … Take care of our body…

BEWARE OF NARCISSISTS.

Beware of narcissists in relationships who want to control, who want to manipulate others for them to get what they want to get. Beware.

I will never over emphasize on it enough. Paul says to Timothy concerning Alexander the Coppersmith, “Beware”. Why because he has wronged the apostle. He was opposing the apostle so much.

That is why Paul said, “Beware”.

REASON 2 | I AM THE ONLY ONE PUTTING EFFORT INTO THE RELATIONSHIP.

When God came to Elijah in the cave, in verse nine, Elijah said, “I am left alone”

That is the second reason behind emotional exhaustion, I am the only one putting effort into the relationship while the other is doing nothing.

My spouse is not putting any effort in it. I am the only one. I am the only one to pay the bills. I am the only one to pay the rent. I am the only one to pay the electricity. I am the only one to pay the fees of my children. I am the only one to take care of the house. I am the only one to be in prayer and to be prayerful. I am the only one.

I'm the only one while the other is doing nothing in this house. I am the only one to follow up when the children are in School. To find out what is going on in School.

In fact, there are some people who are just there in the relationship. They are just there passive. That is not normal. They are not creative. They never take step anywhere.

When there is a problem for electricity for example, you are a man, but the wife is the one to take the screw driver and fix it. How to explain that? There are people who have that virus of passivity.

If you are in that kind of relationship, your partner will get tired.

Another example is when children come back home with homework. Some fathers are just there and do nothing to help leaving their spouse putting the whole effort.

I want to tell somebody who are in this place.

The Bible says very clearly in the book of Galatians chapter six, “Don't get tired to do good. We will reap in due season if we don't give up”.

You are not in control of the attitude of your spouse but you are in control of how you respond to it.

You are in control of what you are doing. You can't force somebody to be who he is not.

You can't force somebody to do what he has never meant to do.

Putting a crown on the head of a clown will not make him a king.

Who you associate yourself with will definitely determine who you will become tomorrow in life.

Do good irrespectively of what the others are doing or are not doing.

Life is personal. God will reward you for what you do because he is the rewarder of men.

Ask God for more grace for you to be able to do more and never lower the standard to accommodate mediocrity in your life.

If you find yourself like you are the only one putting in effort, the meaning of it is that there is greatness in you. And the truth of the matter is that God will reward you certainly.

Hebrews chapter six verse ten says that God is not unrighteous to forget our labor. God is not unrighteous to forget what you have done, what you do and what you are doing. He will not forget He will reward you in his own time.

SELF CARE IS NOT SELFISHNESS

My point is this.

When facing emotional exhaustion don't neglect yourself. That is the first thing I want to let you know. Take care of yourself.

Take care of your body. Take care of your soul. Take care of your spirit. Very important. It is not selfishness. It is self care. And write it down. Self-care is not selfishness. You have only one body. And God needs that body to fulfil his will on the earth. Take care of it.

In Hebrews chapter Ten, Jesus says, “You have given me a body…”. This body must be taken care of. Don't destroy it by thinking to commit suicide.

BE PERSONAL

The second thing it is be personal in your approach in life.

Do your part of the deal and let God do the other part. It will bring you a lot of peace.

As a pastor, it is my part to preach the Word Of God. It is the part of others to receive or not to receive, not mine.

I pray, this is my part. And the other part of answering the prayer is not me. It is not my responsibility.

I put videos online. Who is interested? Come and watch. If you are not interested, it's still okay.

As long as you will be waiting for others to put the same effort as you do, you will get tired. But if you focus on taking your responsibility, without being bothered about the responsibility of the other partner, you will be happy. You won't have any exhaustion anywhere. You will be excited because you know that you are doing your part.

I come in Church. I invite people to come to Church and if somebody decides not to come to Church, it will not bother me. No.

I pay the fees for my children. They have to go to school. I will not go to school for them.

Are we getting the point? Well lift your voice and pray and tell God Lord help me.

CLOSING PRAYERS

You are exalted you can lift your hand where you are you can say Lord ah come to you.

Jesus says come to me you who are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Jesus want to give you rest if you come to him. Come to him.

The Bible say let us come to the throne of grace that we you might get help. And grace and rest. Come before the Lord. Come to him and say Lord give me rest.

Maybe you are you can you are there you can lift your hand and say Lord give me rest over this situation, give me rest over this matter, give me rest over this ah problem, this relationship issue, yes you can tell God I am ah ah emotionally in turmoil because of the relationship ah Lord I need your help, I need your grace, I need your assistance in my life.

Can you pray and tell God Lord I am exhausted. And I need you to renew my strength.

The Bible says in Isaiah chapter forty verse thirty-one that those who come to the Lord he renew their strength. Lord renew my strength.

Can you pray this morning my friend?

Lift your voice where you are and say Lord renew my strength. Renew my strength. Yes I am tired. God validate your feeling. He's not saying that you are wrong. I am tired but God you can renew my strength.

Can you pray this morning? Lord renew my strength, renew my strength, renew my strength, renew my strength. In the name of Jesus I pray that you renew my strength oh God.

Renew my strength in the name of the Lord. Renew my strength tonight.

Today morning oh God. In the name of Jesus. Jesus is renewing your strength is giving you rest in the name of the Lord. God is telling you this morning the journey is too great. The journey is too great.

Don't terminate your life in suicide suicide behaviours. The journey is great. The journey is too great for you. Don't give up. Don't quit the journey.

The journey is too great. The journey is too great. Don't quit. The journey is too great.

That is my message today. Don't quit the journey is too great. Hallelujah. Don't quit. Don't quit. Don't quit. Don't give up. Don't quit. Don't give up. Don't quit. Don't give up. Don't quit. Don't give up. Don't quit. Don't give up. Don't quit. Don't give up. Don't quit. Don't give up. Don't quit. Don't give up. The journey is too great.

You will make it in the name of Jesus.

And you know Elijah was taken in heaven by God. The journey was too great.

May you receive the strength from above to continue the journey in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Thank you for attending today. I love you all. The numbers are there. Contact us for a free counselling sessions and God will bless you in Jesus name. Amen. Amen and amen. Glory to God. Have a glorious day. See you tomorrow midnight's prayers and for the continuity of the teaching.


Pastor TD KASUKU

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