I LOVE THEM, BUT THEY DON’T LOVE ME BACK | tuesday 28-03-2023

 I LOVE THEM, BUT THEY DON’T LOVE ME BACK | TUESDAY 28-03-2023

Father Thank you for today. You are given unto us the grace to come in your presence and to meditate over the will of God. Thank you and blessed be your holy name. In the name of Jesus the Christ we have prayed and we all say amen.

 

Today we want to talk about the topic I love them. I love him. But they don't love me back. What should I do?

 

It comes a moment where in life you love, you do the best you can do for others. But it looks like it is not reciprocated.

 

It looks like you are not getting the return or for what you are doing for other people and it can make someone to be so much frustrated.

 

We have a story of a woman called Leah in Genesis chapter 29 which I will be reading for you today.

 

Gen 29:30  And he went in also unto Rachel, and he loved also Rachel more than Leah, and served with him yet seven other years. 

 

Gen 29:31  And when the LORD saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel was barren. 

 

Gen 29:32  And Leah conceived, and bare a son, and she called his name Reuben: for she said, Surely the LORD hath looked upon my affliction; now therefore my husband will love me. 

 

Gen 29:33 And she conceived again, and bare a son; and said, Because the LORD hath heard that I was hated, he hath therefore given me this son also: and she called his name Simeon. 

 

Gen 29:34  And she conceived again, and bare a son; and said, Now this time will my husband be joined unto me, because I have born him three sons: therefore was his name called Levi. 

 

Gen 29:35  And she conceived again, and bare a son: and she said, Now will I praise the LORD: therefore she called his name Judah; and left bearing. 

 

1- REUBEN

 

When you read the story of Reuben in verse 32, Leah says,

 

Surely the LORD hath looked upon my affliction; now therefore my husband will love me. 

 

There are external signs that can show that somebody does not love you.

 

When Leah said, “The Lord looked…”, it means that it was clearly visible that Jacob did not love Leah. Yet, they were sharing the bed. Yet, they were sharing sex and they were having children.

 

2- SIMEON

 

When you read Simeon’s birth, Leah said, “Because the LORD hath heard that I was hated, he hath therefore given me this son also: and she called his name Simeon.” 

 

So, not being loved can not only be seen, but can also be heard.

 

There are words that can show that somebody does not gonna love you.

 

I don't know maybe Jacob was insulting her. I don't know where that Jacob was very harsh.

 

You know, you are with somebody and when you ask him a question, the way can answer you back can drive you crazy.

 

So not being loved can be visible, meaning you can see it. 

 

Again, you can hear it because of the words that are being spoken.

 

3- LEVI

 

When Leah gave birth to Levi, she said, “Now this time will my husband be joined unto me, because I have born him three sons: therefore was his name called Levi.” 

 

So, there are also body languages that can show that somebody does not love you.

 

That’s why Leah said, “Now, my husband will be joined unto unto me”.

 

It means that they were having intimacy, but physically there was nothing. It was clear that there was a disconnection. 

 

And every time Leah was expecting to be loved back, but there was not returned from Jacob.

 

That's why I said today … “I love, but they don't love me back. What should I do?” 

 

I do what is to be done. I iron his clothes. I give him/her money. I show her love. I speak love to her. Even I want the physical contact with her. She does not really return to me what I am giving to her/him. What do I do about it?

6 TRUTHS

 

TRUTH 1 | GOD KNOWS

 

Somebody who is asking this question I want you to know that God knows. God is Aware. God sees the situation in which you are.

 

It is clearly written that, The Lord saw that Leas was hated.

 

TRUTH 2 | WORK ON YOU

 

The second thing I want to tell somebody this morning is that you should work on you. Work to know who you are. Know your worth. Know to build yourself. Work to be whole. Work to make peace with yourself. Work to make peace with yourself.

 

Work to pave way to a bright future. Work on your dream.  Work on your vision.

 

I'm asking you a question this morning. Do you have a dream? Do you have a vision? Do you have a picture of your future?

 

These are the fundamental questions you need to ask to yourself.

 

TRUTH 3 | SET YOUR EXPECTATIONS RIGHT

 

In fact, what I want to let you know today is get your expectations right. Because wrong expectations lead to frustration.

 

When you say, “I love and they don't love me back”, it's because you love with the wrong expectation. Or let me say otherwise, you love and you are expecting the wrong thing from wrong people.

 

We don't love to be loved back.

 

Oh my husband will love me because I gave him Reuben. Now, he will love me because I gave him Simeon. He will love me because I gave him Levi.

 

Wrong expectation.

 

In John 3:16, the Bible says, “God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son…”.

 

See. God gave because he loved. He gave being motivated by love, not being motivated to be loved back. No.

 

Do you know that there are people despite the fact that Christ died for them, they don't reciprocate the love?

 

Does it stop God from being the loving God? Not at all.

 

Your expectation should be right. And I want to remind you today that your expectation should not be on men. Your expectation should be on God.

 

I like Hebrews chapter number 11 Verse six.

 

The Bible says there that God is there rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

 

The rewarder is God.

 

Don't expect to be loved back by the people you love. Your reward should not come from people, but from God.

Revelation 22:12 says, “I am coming. I have my reward with me”

Galatians 6:9, “Let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.”

 

It is not the one to which you are sowing that you will get back the harvest. You will reap in due season, from God.

 

So, when you say that you love and you are not loved back, it is because your expectation is wrong.

 

If it was for me to expect people to love me back, I could have never done ministry. There are many people I have ministered to, I don’t know where they are as per now.

 

We give them our time. We gave them many and many of our hours. Now. I don't see them. I don't know where they are.

 

Am I frustrated? I'm not frustrated, because my expectation is not for them to give me back anything. My expectation is in God because I know it is God who will bless me back and now I will tell you the truth before the Lord that I am a blessed man.

Don't expect your partner to give you what only God can give you.

 

Leah was expecting Jacob to give to her what only God can give.

 

The Bible says in Proverbs 23:18, “For surely there is an end; and thine expectation shall not be cut off.”

 

When your expectation is in God and on God, your expectation shall not be cut off.

You remember Jesus said to Peter in John 21?

 

He was asking him a question : Peter, do you love me?

You see? We love because God loves us. We don't love to expect to be loved back.

 

So I love because God loves me. Not because people should love me back.

 

But the truth of the matter is God is the rewarder.

 

It means that it will come to pass that some time, the people who will love you back are not the people you invested anything in.

 

God will surprise you! 

 

TRUTH 4 | DO NOT BE A BEGGAR OF LOVE

 

The problem when somebody says, “I love and they don't love me back” is because they are living as beggars.

 

And that is the problem with Leah. She was living as a beggar. Now I pray don't ever be a beggar of love.

 

Can you say with me? Don't be a beggar.

 

it was like Leah was telling Jacob … “Love me. Love me. Love me. Why don't you love me? Love me please. Oh Love Me”.

 

Friends, begging is dangerous in a relationship. Hallelujah.

When you are a beggar of love, see the 10 things that wil happen to you :

 

1- You will have no voice

2- Your your hand will be below

3- You are a liability

4- You are a codependent

5- You are manipulated

6-  You will be used

7- You will be stigmatized

8- You will be victimized

9- You will be humiliated

10- You will be treated as a doormat because you are a beggar of love.

 

All those 10 points characterized Leah. That is why my question toward Leah is … How are you expecting something from that man? What is wrong with you?

 

That's why this morning I want to tell somebody : know your worth.

 

If you know your worth, you will never beg for love.

 

I never beg for love. Even in this ministry, I never beg anybody to stay in this Church.

 

When somebody decides to go, I release them the following second.

 

I don't beg anybody.

 

If Jesus died on the cross for men, yet there are people who left him, what about me, a mortal man?

 

You need to come to a place where you know that you are an asset in Christ.

 

TRUTH 5 | REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE AN ASSET

 

God never made Jacob to love Leah. But instead, he opened her womb. Why? To remind Leah that she was an asset. Hallelujah!!!

 

Can you say with me this morning I am an asset!!!

 

God opened the womb of Leah to give her a voice. Your womb is your mind. Your womb is your future. The womb is what Leah had and Jacob did not have.

 

Friend, you have something in you that others don't have.

 

Why are you living as a beggar? You have done it. I have a ministry. Please believe in God. I have a gift. And I know that I have what you can't get elsewhere.

 

I know I am an asset. Is it pride? No it is not pride. It is self-awareness. I am aware that I am an asset.

 

God opened the womb of Leah to remind to her that she was a career of destinies. 

 

I have a womb where I carry the destiny of people. You are a carrier of life.

 

TRUTH 6 | DO NOT BE SHORTSIGHTED

 

The problem when somebody says I love, but they don't love me, is because they are shortsighted.

 

Leah was shortsighted and was limiting herself. She thought that Jacob was the one to make her happy.

But the truth of the matter is this … Even if it is Jacob, he will never make you happy.

 

Leah, you are totally wrong.

 

Friend, your happiness does not depend on men. Your happiness depends on you. It starts with you.

 

If you have never learned to be happy, no marriage will make you happy. If you have not learned to be happy, you will never be happy anywhere.

5 THINGS

 

There's a difference between pain and suffering.

 

Pain is human (normal). Everybody can feel pain. But suffering is optional. Suffering is a choice.

 

Suffering is a result of five things.

 

NUMBER ONE | WRONG EXPECTATION.

 

And I said it earlier. Let me say that again. Wrong expectation. leads to frustration. May your expectation be right. Receive the grace to have right expectation.

 

Even when I give, I expect God to give me back. Even when I minister to people, I expect my reward from God not from people.

 

Even when I am preaching, I'm teaching or I am doing whatever I'm doing, my expectation is on God.

 

So the first thing to do, set your expectation right.

 

NUMBER TWO | WRONG ATTITUDES

 

Wrong attitude leads to servitude. Begging is a very bad attitude. It's an attitude of mediocrity.

 

NUMBER THREE | IDENTITY CRISIS

 

You need to settle your identity. know who you are.

 

When you say, I love but they don't love me back, it shows that you have an identity crisis.

When you set your identity right, you won't need to suffer.

 

Friends, we are in a world of ungratefulness.

 

Jesus himself experienced it. After healing 10 people, how many came to give him thanks? Only one.

 

Did it stop Jesus from being loving? Not at all.

 

So, set your identity right

 

NUMBER FOUR | TRANSFER OF OWNERSHIP.

 

When you expect people to love you back, you are transferring the ownership to others. Meaning, you are giving others power over you.

 

Remember. When you give somebody power to feed you, you give them power to starve you.

 

So don't give power to somebody else.

 

May the ownership of your life come back in Jesus Name !

 

NUMBER FIVE | UNPROCESSED FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS

 

Finally, you need to process your feelings and emotions.

 

The problem with Leah was her feelings were unprocessed.

 

So, you need to come to a place where you process your feelings and your emotion to understand the motions behind your emotion, to understand how you feel what feel, why you feel what you feel and then you will come to a place where you can understand yourself, you can master yourself, you can control yourself and you can have your happy life.

 

FINAL WORDS AND PRAYERS

 

l Thank You for the revelation of today.

l I want to set things right in my life.

l Help me to have right expectation.

l My expectation is in you not in men, not in people around me at all.

l Now I praise the Lord.

l I will remove my eyes from people and I will have them on God

l When you have your eyes on God, you will see there are people who will come to love you unconditionally.

l I'm telling you, I don't pursue love. Love pursues me.

l May you come to a place where you don't pursue after love but love pursues after you.

l Father, thank you for healing me.

l Thank you for helping me to set my identity right so that's my life will be happy life.

l I pray that God would go ahead of you today in the name of Jesus.

l I pray his hand be upon you.

l I pray God to settle on you in the name of the Father of the Son and the Holy Spirit. I have spoken and prayed.

l Amen, glory to God!

l Thank you very much for attending. I love you all from my heart. And may God bless you. 

PASTOR TD KASUKU