*I feel unloved and unwanted. Why and what to do?*
● *Fact 1 | Don’t believe everything you feel. Don't be led/guided/directed by how you feel.*
● Feelings are feelings. Feelings are not facts. Feelings can be misleading if they are mishandled.
● Recognize feelings for what they are: feelings; not facts, not the Truth, not edicts.
● Just because you feel useless, hopeless, unlovable, and worthless, doesn’t mean you are.
● Our feelings can change at the drop of a hat, the tune of a song, or the embrace of a friend.
● They react positively to good things happening to us or negatively to bad things happening to us.
a. We enjoy good opportunities God put on our ways
b. We enjoy when our desires are fulfilled
c. We enjoy when we receive good news
d. We enjoy when everything works out as planned.
● They connect us with the circumstances of our lives (events, news …). They react to spiritual and life circumstances.
● *a. A good report…*
*Proverbs 15:30* The light of the eyes maketh the heart rejoice, and a good report maketh the bones fat.
● *b. A good news…*
*Proverbs 25:25* As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country.
● *c. Guilt, un-forgiveness…*
*Genesis 3:8* And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden.
● *d. When loved, appreciated, complimented, forgiven, rejected, sad…*
*Genesis 29:31* And when the LORD saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel was barren.
*Genesis 29:32* And Leah conceived, and bore a son, and she called his name Reuben: for she said, Surely the LORD has looked on my affliction; now therefore my husband will love me.
● *Fact 2 | Our thoughts trigger our feelings.*
● God gave us our feelings and emotions for a reason. Living by faith doesn’t mean we ignore them.
● Feelings are not evil by themselves, but what we allow our thoughts to dwell on may be negative and causing an unhealthy overload of negative feelings and emotions.
● Our feelings are very real but can be triggered by a negative, overthinking, thought process instead of the truth.
● *FACT 3 | You can change how you feel if you change how you think*.
1- Set in your mind that you have the power to/ you can rule over your feelings and emotions.
Genesis 4:6 And the LORD said to Cain, Why are you wroth? and why is your countenance fallen?
Genesis 4:7 If you do well, shall you not be accepted? and if you do not well, sin lies at the door. And to you shall be his desire, and you shall rule over him.
2- Set in your mind that by the help of God, you can keep your head above your shoulders without allowing yourself being overwhelmed by the situations and circumstances of life.
Paul says in Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"
Jesus says in John 14:12, “Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father.
We have the case of Jesus Christ who was operating at a very high level of emotional maturity
§ When facing the storm, the disciples are overwhelmed but Jesus was sleeping. That's emotional maturity.
§ When betrayed by his close apostle, Jesus calls him friend. That's emotional maturity.
§ After the news of John the Baptist, Jesus withdraws into a desert place. That's emotional maturity.
§ When facing five thousand people to feed, the disciples were worried. But Jesus thanked God and performed the impossible from the available. That's emotional maturity.
§ When arrested by the enemies, Peter cut the ear of Malchus. But Jesus healed him and willingly faced death. That's emotional maturity.
§ When a group of his disciples decide to leave him and go, Jesus is not hurting. He is not looking disturbed. Rather, He was so composed that he is asking those who remained with him … “Are you not going?” That's emotional maturity.
3- Set in your mind that
§ GOD HAS A PLAN FOR YOU BEYOND MEN’S IMAGINATION.
§ WHEN MEN MIGHT WRITE YOU OFF, GOD WILL REWRITE THE STORY OF YOUR LIFE.
§ GOD’S WAYS ARE NOT OUR WAYS.
§ OUR FIRST CHOICE IS NOT NECESSARILY GOD’S BEST CHOICE FOR US.
§ RACHEL WAS JACOB’S FIRST CHOICE. BUT LEAH WAS GOD’S BEST CHOICE.
§ I DON’T CARE WHO HAS REJECTED YOU, YOU ARE GOD’S BEST CHOICE
JACOB HAD IN MIND TO MARRY RACHEL, NOT LEAH. BUT LABAN HAD IN MIND TO GIVE HIM LEAH FIRST, NOT RACHEL
Genesis 29:17 Leah was tender eyed; but Rachel was beautiful and well favored.
Genesis 29:18 And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, I will serve you seven years for Rachel your younger daughter.
Genesis 29:20 And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed to him but a few days, for the love he had to her.
4- Set in your mind that God cares even if men don't.
Genesis 29:30 And he went in also to Rachel, and he loved also Rachel more than Leah, and served with him yet seven other years.
Genesis 29:31 And when the LORD saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel was barren.
§ Does God care about our emotions? Yes he does. Does God care when we are hated? Yes he does. Does God care when we are rejected? Yes He does.
§ I was expecting God to make Jacob love Leah. But he didn’t. Rather, he opened her womb. What does it mean?
§ God’s purpose is not to get us out of affliction, but to bring the best out of us in the midst of affliction. To make us fruitful,
§ God will not always deliver you from emotional affliction. But he will always use it as a fertilizer to make you more fruitful, open your womb (imagination, creativity, …)
§ Do you see how God cares about our emotions? The Bible says that the Lord saw that Leah was hated.
§ DOES GOD CARE ABOUT OUR EMOTIONS?
Yes He does.
§ He knows your sorrow Exodus 3:7
§ He knows and cares about the anguish of your soul
§ He knows when you are unloved (like Leah)
§ He gives you all things to enjoy 1 Timothy 6:17
§ He encourages you to ask and promises to give what you are asking for. John 16:24
5- Set in your mind that the purpose of life is not for you to be loved but to be fruitful.
Genesis 29:30 And he went in also to Rachel, and he loved also Rachel more than Leah, and served with him yet seven other years.
Genesis 29:31 And when the LORD saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel was barren.
§ I was expecting God to make Jacob love Leah. But he didn’t. Rather, he opened her womb. What does it mean?
§ God’s purpose is not to get us out of affliction, but to bring the best out of us in the midst of affliction. To make us fruitful,
§ God will not always deliver you from emotional affliction. But he will always use it as a fertilizer to make you more fruitful, open your womb (imagination, creativity, …)
6- Set in your mind that being loved does not depend on you. Depending on the love of others is giving them power to control you.
§ Someone said … If you give someone power to feed you, you give them power to starve you.
§ Emotional maturity requires that since being loved doesn’t depend on you, don’t be dependent, don’t rely on the love of others toward you. It doesn’t depend on you. It depends on them. You are not responsible of it. They are responsible of it.
§ Someone might love you. Well and good. But don’t depend on it.
§ Jeremiah 17:5 Thus said the LORD; Cursed be the man that trusts in man, and makes flesh his arm, and whose heart departs from the LORD.
§ Only the love of God is reliable. Only the love of God is dependable. Only the love of God is trustworthy …
§ 1 john 4:16 … so we know and rely on the love God has for us
§ Don’t pray God to be loved. Pray God to make you fruitful. Pray God to open your womb. Pray God to make you creative. Pray God to be more useful to your generation and to the generation after you.
§ Jacob’s hatred did not stop Leah from being fruitful. The same way, people’s hatred will not stop you from becoming who God has planned you to become.
WHAT TO DO? GIVE UP EXPECTING BEING LOVED
STAGE 4 | LEAH GAVE UP EXPECTING LOVE FROM JACOB AND TURNED TO GOD IN PRAISE !!!
§ "When Leah gave birth to her 4th son, she decided to look to God not to Jacob and to see the positive in her situation and said, “This time I will praise the LORD.” So she named him Judah." (GEN 29:35)
§ THAT’S EMOTIONAL MATURITY
§ Emotional maturity is when you stop expecting people or forcing them to love you.
§ Emotional maturity is when turn to God and praise Him saying, ... ● THIS TIME, I WILL PRAISE THE LORD BECAUSE ...
§ Guess what? When Leah decided to praise the Lord, she became the mother of the kings of Israel and of Jesus Christ! Hallelujah!
§ Worship will always take your eyes off your human pain and will place your focus on the God who makes all things new. That’s emotional maturity.
§ When you choose to praise God despite your pain, the impact is felt for generations to come. Imagine.
§ Leah's great-great-great grandson was David, who wrote most of the majestic Psalms.
§ Leah was buried together with Sarah and Rebekah …
§ In *Genesis 49:31*, we read Jacob's declaration, "There they buried Abraham and his wife Sarah; there they buried Isaac and his wife Rebekah; and there I buried Leah".
CONCLUSION
§ All in all, emotional maturity is when you know who you are in Christ.
§ Who am I ?
● I'm God's choice. I'm loved, appreciated, accepted, not rejected
● I'm redeemed and I am free from any curse (spoken, unspoken or generational)
● I am an heir of Abraham’s blessing. I'm therefore uncursable and any spoken or unspoken curse against me, God is changing it into blessing
● I am set for a destiny high above all nations of the earth (Deu 28:1)
● I am blessed in the city, in my workplace, in my house and everywhere (Deu 28:3)
● I am blessed with fruitfulness, abundance and plenteousness in my body, in my mind, in my spirit, in my field, in my farm, in my finances, in my health (Deu 28:4-5 / Deu 28:11)
● All my enemies are defeated and will never have victory over me (Deu 28:7)
● All the earth shall see that I am really and effectively blessed by you (Deu 28:10)
● I shall always be the head and never the tail, above only and never beneath (Deu 28:13)
FINAL PROPHETIC DECLARATIONS AND PRAYERS
● No matter who has neglected you, who has side-lined you, I’ll have you know that *you are not second choice to God*!
● No matter whose eyes turn away from you, I’ll have you know that the eyes of Jehovah are on you day and night! *Even to death Jehovah remained faithful to Leah*.
● *I PROPHESY OVER YOU TODAY ... GOD WILL PUT YOU IN PLACES WHERE MAN HAS LONG BLOCKED YOU. YOU WILL FIND REST WHERE YOUR HEART LONG DESIRED*.
*PASTOR TD KASUKU*
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