● Shekinah Greetings Word Of Life.
● In 2 Samuel 13 verse 1 we read that Amnon loved Tamar.
● In 2 Samuel 13 verse 19, Tamar put ashes on her head.
● In 2 Samuel 13 verse 20 Tamar remained desolate in her brother's house.
● Question? Did Amnon really love Tamar?
● You say you love? They say they love? Are you sure it is love? Can true love ends in desolation? Can true love ends with ashes on the head?
Let me demonstrate to you the difference.
CHAPTER 2 | IS IT LOVE OR LUST?
● In 2 Sa 13:2, we read that the same Amnon who was told to love ..
● ... was so vexed (emotionally distressed and frustrated), that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do any thing to her.
● The question I am asking is this ... Did Amnon really love Tamar?
Let me pause here for awhile to emphasize that what was going on with Amnon toward Tamar was not love but sexual obsession or Sexual narcissism or lust.
CHARACTERISTIC 1 WHERE THERE IS UNCOMMON LOVE, THERE IS PEACE. IF THERE IS NO PEACE, THERE IS NO LOVE
● The symptoms of sexual obsession appear in verses 2 and 4.
From 2 Samuel 13:2,4 NKJV, we read ...
Amnon was so distressed over his sister Tamar that he became sick; for she was a virgin. And it was improper for Amnon to do anything to her.
[4] And he said to him, "Why are you, the king's son, becoming thinner day after day? Will you not tell me?" Amnon said to him, "I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister."
● From the text above, we learn that his SEXUAL OBSESSION made him physically sick, caused him to lose weight and made him mentally depressed so that he was disabled from functioning normally on day to day basis.
● Godly Love. True love. Everlasting love does not and never causes depression. Or makes anyone sick. No.
● Godly Love comes together with peace and joy. Hallelujah
Galatians 5:22 NKJV
But the fruit of the Spirit is LOVE, JOY, PEACE, ... not sickness
2 Corinthians 13:11 NKJV
Finally, brethren, farewell. Become complete. Be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the GOD OF LOVE AND PEACE will be with you.
● If what you call love makes you sick, depressed, lose weight, you need medical attention.
CHARACTERISTIC 2 | WHERE THERE IS UNCOMMON LOVE, THERE IS TRUTH. IF THERE IS NO TRUTH, THERE IS NO LOVE
2 Samuel 13:6 NKJV
Then Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill; and when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, "Please let Tamar my sister come and make a couple of cakes for me in my sight, that I may eat from her hand."
● When a narcissist knows that he cannot control someone, they can fake, fabricate an affliction or exaggerate a minor illness.
●The purposes are to manipulate orher's feeling and emotions, to seek attention, to gain sympathy, to cover up an evil plan or to trick in order to get what they want or to take advantage of others.
● That's exactly what Amnon is using in this text.
● For real, Amnon is a witch. Ammon is evil.
● Shame on you Amnon. One million times shame on you Amnon.
● Godly love never tricks others. Godly love never pretends. Godly love is true and truthful.
● This is what Peter calls unfeigned love, sincere love, genuine love. HALLELUJAH hallelujah hallelujah.
● 1 Peter 1:22 NKJV
Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a PURE HEART,
● Godly Love comes from a pure soul, an obedient spirit and a pure heart.
● Unfortunately, narcissist can never produce such unless God changes them ...
CHARACTERISTIC 3 | UNCOMMON LOVE IS IN ACTS, NOT IN THE LIPS,
1 John 3:18 KJV
My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.
CHARACTERISTIC 4 | WHERE THERE IS UNCOMMON LOVE, THERE IS RESPECT. IF THERE IS NO RESPECT, THERE IS NO LOVE
2 Samuel 13:14 NKJV
However, he would not heed her voice; and being stronger than she, he forced her and lay with her.
● Is it clear now that Amnon never loved Tamar?
● Hear me and hear me well ...
● When your partner does not listen to you,
● When your partner does not respect you
● When your partner does not care for you
● When your partner abuses you
● Don't fool yourself ... They don't love you.
THE DESCRIPTION OF LOVE FROM 1 CORINTHIANS 13:4-8
1/ Love is patient
• Tamar asked Amnon to wait but he refused ( 2 Sam 13:13)
2/ Love is kind. It is going out of our ways to be full of grace toward others
• There was no kindness from Amnon toward Tamar. He raped her and pushed her at of the door ( 2 Sam 13:17)
3/ Love does not envy. Unconditional love desire the best for others
• Amnon left Tamar.
4/ Love does not boast. It is not proud
• Amnon was proud because he did not listen Tamar ( 2 Sam 13:14). There is no pride in love.
5/ Love is not self-seeking
• Amnon was a conman who was only seeking his own satisfaction.
6/ Love is not easily angered. It does not become irritated
• After he got what he wanted, we see anger in Amnon ( 2 Sam 13:15)
7/Love keeps no records of wrongs
• Amnon was the one who wronged Tamar but behaved as if Tamar wronged him.
8/ Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth
• Amnon was plotting against Tamar.
9/ Love always hopes
• Tamar remained desolate in her brother's house ( 2 Sam 13:20)
1 John 4:18 KJV
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
10/ Love always perseveres
• If really Amnon loved Tamar he could have asked to his father for her. Love does not give up.
11/ Love never fails. It is long-lasting not short-lasting
CHARACTERISTIC 5 | UNCOMMON LOVE IS LONG LASTING. IF NOT,, IT IS NOT TRUE LOVE
1 Corinthians 13:8 NKJV
Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.
• In 2 Sam 13: 15, we read that Amnon hated Tamar.
1 John 4:20 KJV
If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?
● The last symptom appears in 2 Sa 13:15, we read that
"Amnon hated Tamar exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her..."
Do you see selfishness? Do you see carelessness ? Do you see wickedness? Do you see evil in that man?
True love never turns to great hatred. Lust does.
1 John 4:20 KJV
If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?
CHAPTER 3 | WHAT HAPPENED TO TAMAR?
● Sadly, in 2 Sa 13:19-20, we read that "Tamar put ashes on her head, and rent her garment of divers colours that was on her, and laid her hand on her head, and went on crying.
● In 2 Sa 13:20, we read that Tamar remained desolate in Absalom's house.
a- She covered herself with ashes (mourning, grief, sorrow, lamentation)
b- She tore her clothes
● She was a virgin, keeping herself for the man who would marry her. But Amnon stole her pride and killed her dream.
● That clothe symbolized her identity, her dream, her dignity, her virginity, her pride.
● By abusing Tamar, Amnon killed her dream, her dignity, her virginity, her pride.
● By tearing her prestigious clothe, Tamar chose to put on her the clothe of desolation. She remained desolate in the house of her brother Absalom.
The meaning of tearing a clothe
- It was associated with mourning
- It was an action/ expression of deep sorrow and distress
- It was an expression of anger, heartfelt grief
- It was a natural reaction at times of great distress (case of repentance)
c- Amnon left her in shame and reproach
d- She went crying and remained desolate.
CHAPTER 4 | ARISE FROM DESOLATION ...
● There is hope for you ( Ps 40:3).
● There is balm in Gilead to heal you Jeremiah 8:22
● Receive the love of God
Pastor TD KASUKU
Amen
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