WORD OF LIFE CHURCH INTERNATIONAL: PRAYERS OF CONQUEST 2018 ... DAY 15 ... HOW TO LIVE WITH A DIFFICULT SPOUSE (3)

THURSDAY 25.01.2018

JOUR 16

HOW TO LIVE WITH A DIFFICULT SPOUSE (3)

READING : 1 SAMUEL 25

Living with a difficult spouse is an awful situation to be in. There are some spouses that have mental problems and create problems for their spouses, others are just plain mean. Today, we are studying an intelligent, beautiful lady named Abigail (Her name means father of joy or cause of joy) who is married to Nabal (His name means fool).

So we have this situation. A sweet, intelligent, wise, beautiful lady married to a crass, loudmouth, brute. Nabal likely came from a wealthy family who was obstinate and impossible to deal with but he had wealth. We do not know why Abigail married him. It was likely prearranged by her family since that was the custom of that period.

The story in 1 Samuel 25 is about David who sent ten (10) of his men to Nabal with a request for Nabal to share his food and drink with them since they had guarded his sheep. Unfortunately, instead of welcoming and showing them hispitality, the Bible says that Nabal yelled and insulted David and his men. David’s men returned to David with Nabal’s message. David became furious and told about 400 of his 600 men to grab their swords and saddle up, because they were off to fight Nabal and his family. As they were coming, Abigail sent to David and his men bountiful gifts and presents and came personnally to him to fix the mess of her husband.

Who was Nabal ? The Bible describes him as a wealthy man with a lot of possessions. However, though he was rich, he was also drunkard, arrogant, proud, mean, a man with an I don't care attitude, disrepectful to others, abusive in his language, ungrateful, unkind, selfish and selfcentered.

As I was reading this text, one question came up in my mind : how Abigail a woman totally opposite to Nabal could live with such a man ?

By extension, I am asking myself today a question about how a spouse can live with a partner who has all the characteristics of Nabal ?

Abigail had a choice to move, run away, leave and separate from this man but she chose not to and preferred to stay with him.

Pastor, you might ask me, are you suggesting that a spouse should stay with an abusive spouse?

1ST FACT / You can choose to run away, to fight him/her or let God fight for you. It is a choice.

Abigail chose not to fight but let God fight for her. As a matter of fact, God himself stroke Nabal who died and Abigail became the king's wife.

"*The LORD shall fight for you*, and ye shall hold your peace." (Exodus 14:14)

"*Ye shall not [need] to fight in this [battle]*: set yourselves, stand ye [still], and see the salvation of the LORD with you, O Judah and Jerusalem: fear not, nor be dismayed; to morrow go out against them: for the LORD [will be] with you." (2 Chronicles 20:17)

2ND FACT / You can choose to become as bitter, weird and vile as he or she is or let God have his way in your heart. It is a choice. Abigail chose and preferred not to stop to continue to be kind, godly, welcoming, God fearing, honoring servants of God.

She never allowed herself to be contaminated by evil but knew how to overcome evil with good.

"Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good." (*Romans 12:21*)

3RD FACT / You can choose to focus on your partner's misbehavior, drunkeness, arrogance and waste your time complaining about it and weigh yourself down because of it or focus on Jesus.

Listen to what Abigail says to David in *1 Samuel 25:25*, "You shouldn’t take this worthless person Nabal seriously. He is like his name. His name is Nabal [Godless Fool], and he’s foolish.."

She knew she cannot change him so she chose to focus on how to become herself a better person.

4th FACT / You can choose to wish him/her evil or pray (intercede) for him/her.

Abigail could have left David come and kill Nabal. But she stood and interceded for him so that evil would not befall him.

CONCLUSION

There was a dormant queen in Abigail but Nabal failed to appreciate it because he could not see it. Our God who is a good God is not and cannot be indifferent when you live in such a relationhip where you cry more than you laugh, where you fear more than you are safe.

If you follow the steps of Abigail, believe me, no matter how weierd your partner is, the Lord will fight for you and will turn everything around for your good.