KINGDOM SECRETS TO PROCESS YOUR EMOTIONS | TUESDAY 20-06-2023 PART 2 | 3A'S OF ANGER MANAGEMENT

 KINGDOM SECRETS TO PROCESS YOUR EMOTIONS | TUESDAY 20-06-2023

PART 2 | 3A'S OF ANGER MANAGEMENT

CHAPTER 1 | INTRODUCTION

● Among many reasons why Jesus came in the world, one of them was to heal the brokenhearted. ( Luke 4:18 )

● Remember that wars between men come from wars inside men. 

● James 4:1 NKJV Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members?

CHAPTER 2 | WHAT IS PROCESSING YOUR EMOTIONS?

Definition 1 | It is the ability to understand, manage and handle their emotions no matter their circumstances. 

Note | Emotions are not meant to rule over you or to guide you or to direct you. They are meant to be ruled by you, to be guided by you and to be directed by you. That is emotional maturity.

● Genesis 4:6 And the LORD said to Cain, Why are you wroth? and why is your countenance fallen?

● Genesis 4:7 If you do well, shall you not be accepted? and if you do not well, sin lies at the door. And to you shall be his desire, and you shall rule over him.

Definition 2 | It is to know how to respond to tough situations without being overwhelmed by them and still keep your head above your shoulders (calmness, serenity, inner peace,  tranquility, ... )

● We have the case of Jesus Christ who was operating at a very high level of emotional maturity

● When facing the storm, the disciples are overwhelmed but Jesus was sleeping. That's emotional maturity. Handling overwhelming situations with knowledge and understanding of faith.

● Jesus knew that he was going to the other side. Therefore there was no way he could die along the way.

● When betrayed by his close apostle, Jesus calls him friend.  While Peter was quick to cut the ear of Malchu. That's emotional maturity.

● After the news of John the Baptist's death, Jesus withdrew himself into a desert place to process. That's emotional maturity.

● When facing five thousand people to feed, the disciples were worried. But Jesus thanked God and performed the impossible from the available. That's emotional maturity.

● When arrested by the enemies, Peter cut the ear of Malchus. But Jesus healed him and willingly faced death. That's emotional maturity.

● When a group of his disciples decide to leave him and go, Jesus is not hurting. He is not looking disturbed. Rather, He was so composed that he is asking those who remained with him … “Are you not going?” 

That's emotional processing.

CHAPTER 3 | STEPS TO PROCESS YOUR EMOTION?

How to win the war within? How to process feelings and emotions so that they will not lead to burnout?

Let me demonstrate from the case of CAIN AND ABEL from Genesis chapter 4

STEP 1 | ADMIT.

● Admit means acknowledge, confess, reveal, make known, disclose, 

● Admit means don't fake it but face it.

● The opposite of admitting is to refuse, to reject, to deny, to disapprove, to disclaim ...

Cain was bleeding within him. Cain was jealous. Cain was angry. Cain was upset. Cain was frustrated. Cain was unhappy.  

● In fact, even his countenance was showing that he was angry.

● But, he did not admit it. He did not verbalize it. He did not express it. He did not disclose it.

● It's human to feel how you feel. Admit it in you. Express it to God in prayer. Express it to the man of God you trust. Don't suppress it. It will hurt you the more.

● Proverbs 28:13 ERV Whoever hides their sins will not be successful, but whoever confesses their sins and stops doing wrong will receive mercy.

To hide = cover, conceal, refuse to admit, lie to yourself, ...

● Sigmund Freud says this ... Unexpressed emotions never die. They are buried alive and will come forth in uglier ways.

● Admit to God in prayer and say sincerely ... I am angry. I am  disappointed. I am unhappy. 

"I" mean that you own it. You admit it. It is there. It is real. Don't fake it. Face it.

● 2 Kings 4:23 KJV And he said, Wherefore wilt thou go to him to day? it is neither new moon, nor sabbath. And she said, It shall be well.

● 2 Kings 4:27 KJV And when she came to the man of God to the hill, she caught him by the feet: but Gehazi came near to thrust her away. And the man of God said, Let her alone; for her soul is vexed within her: and the Lord hath hid it from me, and hath not told me.

● 2 Kings 4:28 KJV Then she said, Did I desire a son of my lord? did I not say, Do not deceive me?

● Please, it is not faith to suppress how you feel. It takes faith to express it.

● What happened next to Cain for not admitting?? 

- Instead of winning the war within. 

- Instead of dealing with anger within him. 

- Instead of killing anger within him. 

- Instead of overcoming anger within him, he killed an innocent man who did not do anything wrong to him.

STEP 2 | AVOID PLAYING THE BLAME GAME

● Please, take note that no one makes you feel the way you feel. No one makes you angry. It is you who are angry.

● We read in  ...

Genesis 4:6 NKJV

So the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen?

Genesis 4:7 NKJV

If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it."

● Do you see how God is emphasizing on you, your, you, you, you, you.

You see? Seriously, Abel was not responsible of his unhappiness. The problem was not Abel. The problem was in him.

● How many innocent Abel are we not killing because we are not mature enough to take responsibility and deal with the anger, the bitterness, the resentment, ...?

● You see? 

- If you don't heal first, the consequence is ... you will bleed on people who did not cut you.

- If you don't heal first, the consequence is ... you will kill innocent who did not wrong you ...

● Please ... Deal with you first ... Deal with you first... Deal with you first ...and Don't kill Abel who did nothing to you

STEP 3 | ACT. DON'T REACT.

● You act when you make use of self-control. You react when you loose self-control.

● Have you ever read Ephesians 4:26 ERV?

"When you are angry, don't let that anger make you sin," and don't stay angry all day.

● You see? This text teaches us that to be angry is not a sin. 

... when you are angry ...

You do not sin because of anger. But you sin because you allow anger to make you sin.

● What did God tell Cain ?

Genesis 4:7 NKJV If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it."

CHAPTER 4 | THE POWER OF SELF CONTROL

● The Greek word translated “self-control,” egkrateia, is derived from two other Greek words— en and kratos . En means “in” and kratos means “strength” or “power.” From kratos we get such English words as “democracy” (power or rule by the people) and “theocracy” (government by God).

● From these Greek roots we see that egkrateia essentially means power or strength within. But whose power?

7 THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT SELF-CONTROL

1ST THING :  Without self-control you are defenseless as a city with broken-down walls.

● Proverbs 25:28 NIV “Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control”

● Proverbs 25:28 NLT "A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls."

● Proverbs 16:32 GNB “It is better to be patient than powerful. It is better to win control over yourself than over whole cities”

2nd THING :  You can control your tongue

● Proverbs 17:27 “A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.”

● Proverbs 29:20 “Do you see a man who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for him.”

Three questions should always be asked before opening our mouth :

1.) Does this have to be said?

2.) Does this have to be said by me?

3.) Does this have to be said by me right now?

3RD THING It takes self-control to be slow to anger, to be able to control one's temper, mood or emotion.

● Proverbs 14:17 “A quick tempered man does foolish things, and a crafty man is hated.”

● Proverbs 16:32 ESV Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.

● Proverbs 16:32 “Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.”

● Ecclesiastes 7:9 “Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.”

4TH THING : It takes self-control to say "NO" to sin

● Titus 2:12 It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age,.. .

5TH THING : It takes self-control to master one's sexual desires

● 1 Corinthians 7:9 ESV But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

● Job 31:1 ESV “I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze at a virgin?

6TH THING : It takes self-control to master one's thoughts

● 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 “. . . bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ”

7TH THING : It takes self-control to avoid being devoured by the roaring lion, the devil.

● 1 Peter 5:8 “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around looking for someone to devour.”

CHAPTER 8 : WHAT DOES IT TAKE ?

1. BE ADDICTED TO GOD'S GRACE

● It takes in one hand the grace of God and in another hand a teachable spirit

● Titus 2:11-12 The grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world;

2. BE EMPOWERED

● It takes more than just willpower for lasting self-control. It takes a power greater than yourself to control yourself. self-control is a work of the Holy Spirit, not a work of the individual. After all, Galatians 5:22-23 lists the fruit of the Spirit, not the fruit of the Christian

● 2 Timothy 1:7, TEV "For the Spirit that God has given us does not make us timid; instead, his Spirit fills us with power, love and self-control." 

3. BE ACCOUNTABLE

● It takes discipline to be a disciple

● “If you obey my teaching, you are really my disciples” (John 8:31, Good News Bible).

● “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me” (Luke 9:23).

● “So I run straight to the goal with purpose in every step … I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified” (1 Corinthians 9:24-27, New Living Translation, emphasis added throughout).

PRAYER GUIDELINES

● I need you oh Lord. I can't make it on my own. I am a hot tempered person, I loose control easily, I can't hold myself, my thoughts, my tongue, my feelings and sexual desires ... take control over my life. 

● I need you Jesus. Help me to be slow to anger. Help me to know how to process my emotions and feelings. Help to admit, to be empowered and accountable. To act and not react. 

● I need you Holy spirit. Take control of me, carry me, lead me and help me not to take foolish decisions. I submit my flesh, my spirit and soul today.

Help me to avoid blame games and take up responsibility.  

● Lord, help me to win the war within me. The war against anger, resentment, sexual sin, bitterness, jealous, low self esteem, hatred... Help me to process my feelings and emotions. I can't win the battle on my own. 

● Lord help me to walk the way Jesus was walking. Walking in power, dominion,  authority, knowing who he was was

● Lord , fill me with the holy spirit today. To be able to face adversities, opposition, difficulties without being overwhelme.  With calmness.

● Thank you Lord for doing it again today. I declare  I walk in power,  in miracle. I live a life of favour because I know who I am. Blessed be your holy name.

In the name of Jesus Christ the son of living God sitted at the right hand of the father.

FINAL BLESSINGS

● As you father I bless you today. I pray the grace of God will be upon you. 

● I pray you will be accountable and understand what is going on in you.

● I pray you will follow this teaching and apply it in your life. 

● Your day is blessed.  Day of favour and open doors.

In the name of the Father, the son and the Holy spirit. Amen

✍🏽Pastor TD Kasuku