KINGDOM SECRETS TO PROCESS YOUR EMOTIONS | THURSDAY 22-06-2023 PART 4 | TO BE OFFENDED IS A CHOICE

 KINGDOM SECRETS TO PROCESS YOUR EMOTIONS | THURSDAY 22-06-2023

PART 4 | TO BE OFFENDED IS A CHOICE

INTRODUCTION: FACTS ABOUT OFFENCE

FACT 1 | Everyday, anywhere and anytime, something happens that invites you to be offended.

1. A friend buys a new car and forgets to inform you – you could get offended!

2. A friend gives you a lift in his car and cautions you to shut the door gently - you could get offended! 

3. A friend gives you a lift in his car and drops you off before your very final destination - you could get offended! 

4. A friend comes to your house late at night due to an emergency you need - you could get offended! 

5. Your spouse informs you late about a schedule PTA (Parents Teachers Association) meeting - you could get offended! 

6. Your boss disrupts your lunch break and instructs you to complete an emergency assignment - you could get offended!

7. A subordinate inadvertently calls you by a wrong designation or title - you could get offended! 

8. An usher in church gives you a crumpled envelope for your offering - you could get offended in the presence of God! 

9. Your Pastor preaches a sermon that exposes your sin - you could get offended! 

10. A neighbor travels abroad and brings you an expensive cologne 

you’ve never been able to afford and you think he is flaunting his blessing - you could get offended!

11. Your friend, out of love, serves you far more food at the party than all the rest and you think he sees you as a glutton - you could get offended! 

12. You open the door for your spouse who forgets to say thanks - you 

could get offended! 

13. A friend in a discussion mentions the illustrious qualifications of your dead competitor - you could get offended! 

14. Your wife refuses to have sex with you due to a had cold - you could get offended! 

FACT 2 | The more you trust, the more you can be let down. The more you love, the more vulnerable you become. The higher our expectations, the greater the tendency there is to get hurt.

What does it mean? The people who offend you most are those closest to you.

WHAT IS OFFENCE?

● Definition 1 | A person is said to be offended when something is displeasing to them or makes them feel resentful or hurt.

● Definition 2 | Offence is defined as  ‘resentment or hurt’.

- A person is therefore said to be offended when something is displeasing to them or makes them feel resentful or hurt. 

● Definition 3 | The word translated ‘offence’ in the bible is from the Greek word ‘skandalon’ which is the root word for the English word ‘scandal’. The word literally means a snare, noose or trap, a device that is usually laid to catch an animal. By extension, it also means a device that make a person stumble or fall into a scandalous act

THE DANGER OF TAKING OFFENCE

DANGER 1 | Offence can lead you into betrayal.

● Offences that are not dealt with can escalate till they lead to criminal actions including betrayal, mutiny or even murder.

● Matthew 24:10 And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another.

● When Judas saw Mary pour costly fragrant oil in Jesus' head, he was indignant and offended. Not only him but also all the disciples. Meaning it was so expensive!

● John 12:5 Why was not this ointment sold for three hundred pence, and given to the poor?

● John 12:6 This he said, not that he cared for the poor; but because he was a thief, and had the bag, and bore what was put therein.

● Matthew 26:7 There came to him a woman having an alabaster box of very precious ointment, and poured it on his head, as he sat at meat.

● Matthew 26:8 But when his disciples saw it, they had indignation, saying, To what purpose is this waste?

● Matthew 26:9 For this ointment might have been sold for much, and given to the poor.

● Matthew 26:14 Then one of the twelve, called Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests, ...

CONSEQUENCE ON JUDAS - He lost his sit. He lost his crown. He lost his throne

● Luke 22:28 You are they which have continued with me in my temptations.

● Luke 22:29 And I appoint to you a kingdom, as my Father has appointed to me;

● Luke 22:30 That you may eat and drink at my table in my kingdom, and sit on thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel.

DANGER 2 | Offence is a trap that can cage a life.

● John the Baptist died in prison for being offended

● Matthew 11:2 Now when John had heard in the prison the works of Christ, he sent two of his disciples,

● Matthew 13:21 Yet has he not root in himself, but endures for a while: for when tribulation or persecution rises because of the word, by and by he is offended.

DANGER 4 | According to Hebrews 12:15, offences springing out of bitterness can cause great trouble in relationships (marriage, siblings, parents-children).

● An offense creates a fence around you to separate you from the congregation. Both the offender and the offended are separated. As long as you retain the offense, the flow of the oil of unity (Psalm 133) is stopped and dryness creeps in to quench the anointing of the Holy Spirit (1 Thessalonians 5:19).

● The offence cage. Some believers have built a fortified cage in their hearts, locked certain people in there and thrown the key away because they were offended

● Proverbs 18:19 An offended brother is harder to be won back than a stronghold city, and his contentions are like the bars of a castle.

Case 1 | Cain was offended and killed Abel

Case 2 | Jacob's children were offended. Their heart became hard toward their brother and sold him.

DANGER 5 | Offence can be a hindrance to miracles. It can be a hindrance to the work of God.

Case 1 | Haman was offended at Elisha's instruction and could not get his miracle. Until he overcame it and got healed. 

Case 2 | In Mark 6, the people who were offended because of their familiarity with Christ could not get anything from him.

● Mark 6:4 But Jesus, said to them, A prophet is not without honor, but in his own country, and among his own kin, and in his own house.

● Mark 6:5 And he could there do no mighty work, save that he laid his hands on a few sick folk, and healed them.

HOW TO HANDLE OFFENCES THROUGH EMOTIONAL MATURITY : CASE OF THE SYROPHENICIAN WOMAN?

● Mark 7:26 The woman was a Greek, a Syrophenician by nation; and she sought him that he would cast forth the devil out of her daughter.

● 27 But Jesus said to her, Let the children first be filled: for it is not meet to take the children’s bread, and to cast it to the dogs.

● 28 And she answered and said to him, Yes, Lord: yet the dogs under the table eat of the children’s crumbs

● 29 And he said to her, For this saying go your way; the devil is gone out of your daughter.

● 30 And when she was come to her house, she found the devil gone out, and her daughter laid on the bed.

WHAT DID SHE DO TO NOT BE OFFENDED BY THE ATTITUDE OF JESUS TOWARD HER?

Truth 1 - Being offended is a choice. Emotionally mature people choose not to be offended. How to choose not to be offended?

Step 1 | Accept yourself )

● Emotionally mature people accept who they are. They accept their past mistakes. They accept their uniqueness. They accept their weaknesses. They accept their strength. They accept their height. They accept the color of their skin. They accept the area where they failed.

● Jesus told the lady she did not have the right because she was not a Jew. Instead of taking offence, she accepted it. She says, Yes Lord ... 

● In fact, it was true that she was not a Jew. It was true that she did not have any right to the blessing of Israel.

Step 2- Avoid taking things personally.

● People who get easily offended are people who are too much focused on themselves and too much preoccupied with "I", "Self", "Me". 

● No one liked "my" ideas. They hardly talked to "me". He even didn't thank "me". No one even asked "my" opinion. Nobody paid attention to "me". 

● To be emotionally mature is to get your focus off "self". It is learning not to take things personally.

● When Jesus was telling this woman ... "I was sent to the lost sheep of Israel...", she did not take it personally. She wanted her daughter to be healed. She focused on it. Period. That is emotional maturity.

● You send a message to someone and they do not respond to you. Don’t take it personally. They are free to respond or not. Allow them to be themselves. Move on.

● You look at the Whatsapp and it shows that they have read the message but there is no answer. Don't be stuck there. Even Jesus says, he stands at the door and knocks. If anyone hears and opens, he will enter. If not, he passes.

● God does not force his ways and will on people. 

That is all about emotional maturity is about.

Step 3 | Accept the lordship of Jesus Christ

What does it mean? Jesus Lordship will not always make sense to you. You must therefore be emotionally mature and ready like this woman to say ... YES LORD ...

Yes Lord means ...

1- I Submit to his leading

2- I Stop fighting his order 

3- I Surrender to his ruler ship 

CONCLUSION

● Difficult as it may appear in a perverse world, it is possible to live an offence-free life, if the guidelines established in God’s word and carefully expounded in this teachings are followed.

● The Bible says in Acts 24:16, ‘This is being so, I myself always strive to have a conscience without offence toward God and man.’ 

 ● Life is too short to waste it by being offended all the time. 

● Meaning you can choose not to be hurt. Why make yourself suffer and why let others make you suffer? 

● Every pattern is meant to be broken. I pray that you decide to break the pattern today by not allowing people around you dictate your mood.

PRAYER POINTS

1. | Lord, offence is too much to bear. Free me oh Lord. I admit I am hurting.  I choose to be happy and rejoice. 

2. LORD, I refuse to dwell in bitterness, anger, hatred and resentment. Free me today. 

3. LORD, I say yes to you today. Help me to stop fighting your order and submit to your leading. I surrender to your rulership.

Amen

Pastor TD Kasuku